How to Build a Powerful Church Community Through One-to-One Meetings -1

But what does community organising have to do with churches? And how can churches use community organising to strengthen their communities and mission?

In this blog post, I will share some insights from my experience as a community organiser in my church and community centre. I learnt about community organising from Citizens UK and its member organisations while working together on various campaigns. I will also explain why building relationships is the core of community organising and how one-to-one meetings are critical for doing that. I will also give you some tips on conducting effective one-to-one meetings in your church context and share a story of how one-to-one meetings have made a difference in a church I worked in.

Why should churches focus more on building relationships?

Without relationships, there is no trust, communication, collaboration, or action. Without relationships, churches and communities will seize to exist. Building relationships is the foundation of this process. Without relationships, there is no trust, communication, collaboration, or action. Without relationships, there is no church or community.

Churches, especially their congregations, are communities of faith, but they are also communities of people. People who have different backgrounds, experiences, perspectives, and needs. People who may not know each other well or may feel disconnected or valued. People may face challenges or opportunities in their personal lives or broader context.

Building relationships in churches is not only a way of strengthening the members’ bonds of fellowship and love. It is also a way of empowering them to become agents of change and justice in the world. By building relationships, churches can identify the issues that affect their communities and mobilise their members to take action on them. By building relationships, churches can develop leaders who inspire others to join them in their mission. By building relationships, churches can create a robust community to make a difference and grow.

What are the benefits of one-to-one meetings for churches?

One-to-one meetings are the primary tool for building relationships in community organising. A one-to-one meeting is a face-to-face conversation between two people who want to get to know each other better. It is not a casual chat or a social visit. It is a deliberate meeting that aims to explore each person’s interests, values, passions, and goals.

One-to-one meetings are beneficial for churches in many ways. Here are some of them:

• They help to build trust and rapport between the congregations.
• They help to discover the potential leaders in the church who have the appetite and ability to take action for justice and develop other leaders.
• They help to identify the issues that matter to the church members and their communities and the solutions they want to pursue.
• They help create a sense of ownership and responsibility among the church members for their development and mission.
• They help to foster a culture of listening, learning, and sharing in the church.
• They help to generate energy, enthusiasm, and commitment to take action together.
• They help the church and community to grow.

But, how can church congregations conduct effective one-to-one meetings?

And least I forget to mention, they’re not a pastoral visit, coffee and tea after service, or a meet & greet.

One-to-one meetings are relatively easy to conduct but require some preparation and practice. Here are some tips on how to conduct effective one-to-one meetings in your church context:

• Choose a suitable time and place for the meeting. Make sure it is convenient where both parties feel comfortable and is public like in a coffee shop or in a park, etc.
• Be curious and respectful. Ask open-ended questions inviting the person to share their story, feelings, opinions, and dreams. Listen actively and attentively. Show interest and empathy. Avoid interrupting or judging.
• Share your own story as well. Don’t make the meeting one-sided or interrogative. Share some aspects of your life that relate to the topic or the person. Be honest and authentic.
• Seek common ground and mutual interests. Find out what you have in common with the person, what you agree on, and what you care about. Explore how you can work together on something that matters to both of you.
• Follow up and follow through. Only let the meeting end with agreeing on some next steps or actions, and if it feels appropriate to do so, a prayer for further discernment about what has been discussed. Ensure you keep in touch with the person and follow up on your commitments.

Before inviting them to join you in further meetings or activities, take so adequate time to reflect and evaluate how the last meeting went. This will help to make subsequent meetings more effective and have successful outcomes.

Here’s a short explainer video that I produced and Kerry scripted, that could help you as discern and practice one-to-one meetings:

In the next part of this post, I will be telling a story of how one-to-ones helped in my role and my church (Lozells Methodist Church and Community Centre) to achieve the desired changes that have enabled us to discern and use, collectively, our strengths and resources to become a more effective social justice seeking church and take action with our calling as Christians amongst ourselves and with our wider community.